Monday smile: Irish medical dictionary

Medical Term               Irish Definition
Artery:                           The study of paintings
Bacteria:                        Back door to cafeteria
Barium:                         What doctors do when patients die
Benign:                          What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section:         A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan:                         Searching for Kitty
Cauterize:                        Made eye contact with her
Colic:                               A sheep dog
Coma:                              A punctuation mark
Dilate:                              To live long
Enema:                             Not a friend
Fester:                             Quicker than someone else
Fibula:                            A small lie
Impotent:                        Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain:                   Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff:                 A doctor's cane
Morbid:                           A higher offer
Nitrates:                          Rates of pay for working at night, normally more money than days
Node:                              I knew it
Outpatient:                     A person who has fainted
Pelvis:                            Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative:              A letter carrier
Recovery Room:           Place to do upholstery
Rectum:                         Nearly killed him
Secretion:                      Hiding something
Seizure:                         Roman Emperor
Tablet:                           A small table
Terminal Illness:           Getting sick at the airport
Tumour:                        One plus one more
Urine:                            Opposite of you're out